


I Want You, If You'd Have Me

by womanwhowritesformany



Category: The Last of Us (Video Games)
Genre: Drabble, Flirting, Fluff and Humor, Fluffy, Friends to Lovers, Joel - Freeform, One Shot, Reader Insert, TLOU, TLOU one shot, TLOU2, Teasing, The Last of Us - Freeform, flirt, flirty joel, fluffy joel, gender neutral reader, gender non-conforming, joel & reader, joel miller, joel miller one shot, joel one shot, joel talks a lot, joel x reader - Freeform, reader - Freeform, the last of us 2
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-14
Updated: 2020-08-14
Packaged: 2021-03-06 07:55:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,004
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25900036
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/womanwhowritesformany/pseuds/womanwhowritesformany
Summary: Joel and Reader become friends over time, and eventually they discuss their feelings over coffee...and kissing.
Relationships: Joel (The Last of Us)/Reader
Comments: 2
Kudos: 71





	I Want You, If You'd Have Me

**Author's Note:**

> Joel x Reader. This oneshot is from my series for TLOU Headcanons/OneShots that you can find on my profile!   
> warnings; none? kissing, fluff.. 
> 
> (seriously, reader friendly/gender neutral - constant use of the words "you")

To say that Jackson was beautiful was an understatement. The view of the mountains and towering trees had left you breathless, considering the fact that you were born and raised in a busy-doesn't-sleep city. Although all these years you've seen nothing but the woods and broken down little cities, this view was different. Especially when you had good people around you to share it with. The town of Jackson had families; there were kids, teenagers and adults of all ages roaming about everyday, and living there in their own homes or newly built places. There were stores; like the people there were trying to build and get back to the world before this one. And although there was no getting away from reality and what went on behind the secured town. 

You worked in Jackson, on patrol on and off with different shifts. And when you weren't working, you spent time at your small home (whom you shared with your roommate, who happened to be your friend ever since you arrived in Jackson. Thankfully for them, they made you feel okay after spending so much time alone) writing stories, reading as many books you've found and even listening to music you never would've thought you would've liked before.

And there was someone in Jackson you paid attention to every time he walked by, every time he walked in a room and every other night he took over your patrol shift. 

That man was Joel. The quiet, closed off man who worked a lot, but also didn't converse or socialize with many people. He was tall, built almost but you could tell he was older. His hair fluffy and mixed with dull, dark brown hair and silver streaks throughout, including his beard. Joel always had such a strong face too, every time you had looked at him, his face never seemed to relax. And though the two of you would barely talk the numerous times you came in contact with each other, there was never any roughness or any type of bad that radiated off of him. He might've come off as brooding, but as the time went on, you found him to be the opposite. 

At first, he'd end your patrol shifts and take over without any greetings or goodbyes. But slowly, he was the one to say the first 'good evening' to you when seeing you at the end of the shift. You were the one to say hello the next time. And eventually, it led to long conversations that kept you on another shift where you were supposed to be off and sleeping or writing. One of those nights, Joel and you had shared each others thoughts about the beauty of Jackson, and how it was so different from the cities where you two were from. It was a friendship that blossomed between him and you, and it soon developed into a crush on both ends. But of course, neither of you shared that information...not yet anyways.

It kind of just happened. After Joel continuously apologizing from keeping you from sleep and working overtime on the shift, you told him you didn't mind and that you enjoy his company. He completely loved that and it would give him confidence with being near you (yeah, he would so get flustered by you, but you were oblivious to that). So that night, he asked you over for some coffee. 

"Would it be weird if I asked you to have coffee with me at my place?" He asked as you walked side by side, radiating heat off each other as your arm were against his arm.

"I don't know," you would shrug, a smirk lingering on your face. "Why don't you ask then." 

Joel laughed, a low groan passed his lips. "You're a smart ass." 

"Glad I can amuse you, I like hearing your laugh." You admit, turning your head to look at him as you kept walking through the town of Jackson, not really sure if you were heading to your home or his. "So, go on then. Let's find out if it's weird." 

"I just don't want things to be ruined in the long run." He'd look in your eyes, then turn his head down to look at his boots. 

"Coffee can't ruin things?" You bite your lip to hold in a laugh, to lighten the mood. It worked, because you hear him let a breathy laugh. 

"Is that a yes?"

"You, sir, didn't ask me." 

"Have coffee with me?" He asked. "Not sure if you need it, since you don't seem tired. But I definitely need it." 

You shook your head, and let him walk in front of you as you followed him behind. It was pitch black out, minus the small little lights throughout Jackson that was there to help guide people to places they wanted to go at night. There was no one outside. It must've been the middle of the night for sure. As you followed behind, you watched how he moved. Each step he took, he took with confidence and somehow like he was being protective, like something or anyone could jump in front of you guys and he'd be the one to protect you (that didn't mean you didn't know how to protect yourself, because you were tough as hell).

He led you up these wooden steps and stopped at his porch right at his front door. "It's not much, I don't decorate." 

"I don't either," you smile. "I'm actually quite unorganized, you should see it."

"Are you asking me out?"

"Oh I'm the smart ass..." you roll your eyes. "Come on, make me coffee."

"Well alright, I will." 

He tells you to make yourself comfortable, sit wherever, lounge wherever and he'll be back with coffee. You left your boots right next to his by the door on a rug, and your jacket stayed on since you still felt the cold on your skin. You smelled the coffee brew from the kitchen and you waited as your stomach growled. It was like he heard it from all the way in the kitchen, because he walks over to you, taking his jacket off and leaning on the couch arm. "Did you eat tonight? I have some things I make, there's some stuff in the cabinets too." 

"I know something good that goes with coffee." Joel smiles, and walks away. You smile to yourself as you watch him walk away, only to return in just under a few minutes with coffee. He sat extremely close to you, and it made you blush...which is an understatement because you were panicking. Although, all those nights spending overtime on patrol with him and standing or sitting close to each other, this was different. It felt different. You didn't have to worry about beyond Jackson. All you thought about in this moment was him, and how you'll be able to function sitting here, in his home and alone. 

The two of you sat on the same couch together, music being played quietly and the cups of hot coffee in your hands as a plate of walkers (a brand of shortbread tea cookies he had found one day) sat on the coffee table. As time went on, your jacket was off and the whole pot of coffee emptying which each cup you two had together, it felt good to spend the remaining of the night with someone. It had been so long for the both of you to find comfort in someone. Despite you having a roommate and a friend to be close with, this felt different. This felt like this could be something. But you didn't want to speak or act too soon on that, saving yourself from looking like a fool to mistake a friendship for something more. For the next few seconds, the two of you sat there in silence. His stare was intense, never budging or gazing away. The bags under his eyes make you feel like you should call it a night and have the two of you go your separate ways and catch up on sleep. But then, that's when you see it. The hidden smirk that lies behind his thick beard. 

You notice he puts down his empty coffee mug on the table in front of you two, without even looking away. And suddenly, you're inching further, your arms and hands reaching for him. They place onto his shoulders, hoping he understands what you're doing, and he does. But he doesn't show it, which leaves you worried. You need to leave, you need to get away and not make a fool out of yourself. But his lips...smirking and mocking you. You couldn't help it but just to lean in, close your eyes and lips end up on his just for moment. And that's when you feel just you making the effort to caress his lips with yours. He's tenses up and you pull your head back, eyes still closed. 

He whispers your name, and pull away as your hope fades away.

You blink a few times, realizing what you did and what he didn't do. "Sorry," you inched away on the couch, taking your hands off his shoulders. You turn away when he tries to talk to you, but you shake him off. He wasn't sure that you wanted that, but he did. He wanted to kiss you. But he had a feeling that you didn't like it. And so did you. "Sorry," you repeat. "Forget it, please." You can't take the shame. 

It wasn't until Joel stood up to clean up to break the awkward and silent tension. But you had interrupted him and insisted on cleaning up for him, because you couldn't just stand the weird silence after that failed attempt at kissing him. He just rolled his eyes and muttered to himself as he watched you make your way to his kitchen. He decided against sitting down again, and instead walked to the kitchen quietly, standing next to you as you finished placing the last mug onto a towel to dry. The two of you stood there, bodies just shyly a few inches away, that spaced filled with nervousness from the both of you.

"This is...different." Joel spoke up, his head faced down as his hands leaned faced down on the surface of the counter. Your hands did the same. 

"Again, Joel I'm sorry if I crossed any line." You sighed, turning around so that your back leaned on the edge of the counter. "And if this ruined things, don't blame the coffee, it was all me." 

"Hey now," Joel took one hand off the counter and put his arm around your waist, pulling you in and trapping you between him and the counter, bodies dangerously close. "It didn't do anything, you didn't ruin shit. There was no line...I froze up, that's on me."

It stood silence for a few minutes. You were afraid of saying anything, so you kept your mouth close. And you didn't want to leave either.

He whispered and muttered a few times your name, to get your attention. He lifted one hand to your cheek, and used his thumb to brush it gently across your chin and over your bottom lip. You shivered from the touch, heart thumping against your chest as your cheeks heated up from it. "Let's try that again," he whispered. "I won't freeze up this time."

"Joel..." you laughed. 

"Darling..."

"So I didn't mess this up? Whatever this has been." You say with a heavy emphasis on 'this'. 

"I'd say this was us being friends..." he nodded his head, leaning in and leaving a kiss on your cheek. "Then this...became just us dancing around the facts."

"And those facts are?"

"That you like me, you like hearing me laugh." He kisses your jaw now. 

"God, I feel like I'm in high school again." 

"Do you need me to tell you that I like you too? Or are we just gonna keep ignoring the obvious over and over?" 

You laugh, hitting him on the shoulder. "If you don't mind, yes..yes I do need you to tell me. I'm a nervous wreck, Joel. That's just who I am." 

He takes his hands off the counter, then places one hand on your waist and the other caressing your neck. Without confirming whether or not he actually does feel a way about you, he pulls you in very slowly, you breath slowly picking up as you anticipate his move. His lips gently rest on yours, hoping you'll make the next move. He hopes that this confirms his feelings enough for you, so that it give you the confidence to kiss back. And you do. Your hands fly up to the back of his neck, urging him to kiss you deeper. And that's where you feel it. Hell, that's where he feels it too. A weakness surges throughout your body, eyes fluttering shut and hands gripping each others bodies. And let's not forget about the noises - the breathy moans that slip from your mouth into his, and the groans that sound like he's wincing from pain from a wound, in yours. 

He pulls away, but your hand at his neck pulls him in one more time to gently kiss him, teeth biting down on his bottom lip, slowly pulling away. He lets out a deep chuckle, almost sensual sounding and rests his head onto your neck. 

"It's been so long...since I had someone. I've been so scared, Joel." You admit, and it wasn't easy. This was the first time you were saying it out loud. "The last person I loved, the person I was comfortable with, they're gone. And I don't want that to happen again. I just feel like I don't deserve this in a way." 

Joel's head moves off your shoulder, so he could listen to you attentively. He doesn't speak, giving you time to talk as he nods his head for you to continue. 

"I know that my partner died a long time ago, I know it wasn't my fault. But I am so scared to let something and someone like that slip right through my hands again." You say, your hands moving to his biceps and gripping tightly. "Joel, if this goes further...I won't know how to do this without feeling like I'm gonna lose it." 

"Hey there..." He grabs onto the back of your neck now, like you had done moments before. "It's been a very long time for me too. I know what it's like, I know how that fear feels, honey." 

He leaves a kiss on your forehead and looks you in the eyes. "We deserve this, everyone does." He nods his head, now pulling you into him even further and starts walking backwards, slowly and out of the kitchen. 

"Joel..."

"You said before you needed to hear it, so I'm saying it." He kisses your lips again. "I like you, very much. And if it feels like were kids again, then it must be a good feeling right?"

"Yeah," he smiles as you talk. "It's a very good feeling." 

"Let's hold onto that then, yeah?" He leans in, grabbing your face to kiss you, his tongue slowly gliding over your lips, asking for permission without words. And you accept it, as your mouth widens for him. 

And suddenly, Joel is sitting down on his couch again, this time with you in his lap. The small living room consists of the sound of the soft country music playing in the background and the sighs and moans from the two of you. You want to pull away, sadly, just for a moment to say something. And when you do, the words don't come out. Instead, he sits there with your legs around him as his hands rest just below your back. His eyebrows are pulled in and his head tilts as if he asked you a question. 

"Joel?"

"Mhm?"

"Let's hold onto this." You hope never to lose him, especially now that you two took your friendship further than just that. "I don't want this to ruin anything."

"It won't." Joel nods his head. "I told you before, there's no line." he refers back to when you apologized for crossing the line with your friendship. "I want you, if you'd have me." He says, but it's not sexual. Kind of. But he means more than just that. Joel wants you more than how it was before. He liked getting to know you, he liked that friendship and so did you. The feelings were mutual and finally being reciprocated. 

"Oh yes," you bite your lip as you smile. "I want this and you." 

"You deserve this." He whispers. And he brings you back into the passionate kiss again. And this time, no one breaks away to speak and only to shed of clothes. Joel's hands roam everywhere they could on your body, anything to make you feel loved and to feel something. Squeezing the back of your neck, hands sliding down your back softly only to grab your ass hard as he moans into your tongue-filled kiss and peppering and sucking of his neck. 

And it goes from the couch and into the bedroom of Joel, which you never thought you'd see. But you'll most likely urge on to tell him tomorrow morning to show you around and show more of him to you. And on his bed, the two of you rolling around on and off each other. Slow then fast. Fast then slow. Rough then soft, then on again. Everything feeling just right. And that moment, when you two are finally falling asleep after being up and the sun finally rising, he's holding you. And you're holding onto him. And suddenly, you whisper, "You deserve this too, Joel." And just when you thought he was sleeping, he slips his free hand into yours, over your stomach, and holds onto your hand, kissing your forehead.


End file.
